Torching Calories in the Pumpkin Patch?

Thanks to years of reading women’s magazines, we can justify calling almost any physical activity a sport. We know that 30 minutes of moderate jump roping burns about 321 calories and that vacuuming the couch can burn about 85 calories.

But even we would not go so far as to calling growing a gigantic pumpkin a sport. But one gourd enthusiast did just that in today’s Globe.

“There are so many ups and downs in this sport,” [Steve Connolly] said. “We’re hoping this one holds on. I really wish the contest was this week. I’ve got to wait another 10 more days – it’s an eternity.”

We firmly believe that pumpkin-growing is not a sport. Farming can be a way of life. We’d say tending to a pumpkin patch qualifies as a hobby. Entering your gourd into a contest makes it a competition. But just like NASCAR, it is not a sport. (ed. note: That’s A-M-Y Derjue, gearheads).

Now, hiring a couple of bodybuilders to see who can load the gigantic pumpkin into the back of a truck? That’s a sport. How do we know this? Gardening burns about 272 calories an hour. Vigorous weight lifting burns about 428 calories in the same amount of time. That’s some irrefutable science right there.