Watch David Ortiz Ruin Kids Birthday Parties by Hitting Piñatas Out of the Park

Big Papi has no chill.

David Ortiz

Photo by JetBlue

It looks like David Ortiz’s plans for retirement include ruining kids birthday parties.

In honor of Big Papi’s final season, JetBlue has put together a fun video imagining what the Red Sox slugger might do with all of his time off once he hangs up his cleats for good. Apparently that means bringing his bat to backyard get-togethers.

Watch Ortiz give a new meaning to “candy crush” as he smashes piñatas out of the park while screaming children look on in awe.

Adding insult to papier-mâché injury, Ortiz won’t just annihilate a piñata, he’ll also throw in a bat flip and munch on a birthday cupcake as a reward. No chill, Big Papi.

Instead slamming piñatas into people’s pools, maybe Ortiz should take a few post-retirement ideas from Saturday Night Live star Kenan Thompson. Iguananox sounds like a winner.

Check out the full clip of Big Papi hitting piñatas below.