We Ain’t Missing You at All

We’ve got the feeling that something is missing. No, not our car keys. Is it the thrill that’s gone? Not quite.

Oh yeah. Now we remember. It’s James “Whitey” Bulger who’s missing.

It’s easy to forget in the hustle and bustle of everyday life, but Boston’s favorite killer went into hiding 13 years ago today. Now a a 78-year-old man, the FBI keeps arresting Irish grandpas around the world thinking they might have found the mobster, but haven’t brought him to justice.

Our beloved daily papers display their strength as they discuss this inauspicious anniversary. The Globe gives us only the facts.

The multiagency Bulger Fugitive Task Force exhausted every lead and lookalike sighting across the world in 2007, seeking both Bulger, 78, and his companion, Catherine Greig, 57, the officials said.

While the Herald gives us outrage, suntan lotion, and Bulger’s treacherous heart.

They have a saying in federal law enforcement circles: Join the Bulger Fugitive Task Force (better known as the BFTF) and see the world.

This past summer, those few lucky feds got to grab their suntan lotion and chase a psychotic 78-year-old wild goose to a lovely town in Sicily called Taormina.

Billy and Jackie Bulger have always known that one day their hideous older brother will emerge from the shadows to die and be buried in the family plot. But that won’t happen until Whitey loses control of his bodily functions, or the pills fail to hold the beating of his treacherous heart in check.

We know he’s being sarcastic, but we want that job. Maybe we can liveblog our search for the mobster in the South of France?

“Went to a great wine bar. Had a bottle of wine and sat there for a few hours. Sadly, we didn’t see any Boston mobsters. Here’s hoping for better luck tomorrow.”

If all this talk of Bulger has you nostalgic, you’re in luck. Bulger hitman John Martorano’s interview with 60 Minutes will air on Sunday at 7 p.m. In his interview, he says he would have killed Whitey had he been given the chance.

“I never informed or ratted on nobody,” he tells [reporter Steve] Kroft. “If I could have killed [Bulger] I would have killed him, but he wasn’t there.”

While Martorano says he regrets the 20 murders he committed in the past, we wouldn’t want to run into this guy if we were Whitey. We’d rather skip the family plot than get killed by a guy with a grudge.