When You’re Not Sure What to Get that Special Someone

The holidays are a trying time of year, especially if you’ve got to explain your religious beliefs to the nation. But that’s nothing compared to the age-old question of what to do about that hard to shop for someone on your holiday gift list? Oddly enough, our former governor has the answer to that too. Mitt Romney continues the proud tradition of Mitt Market, this time launching the UltiMITT Holiday.

We’re still not kidding.

For the conservative on your list who has everything, the Romney campaign has some gifts to thank you for your contribution. For example, a $50 contribution gets you a signed Romney family Christmas picture and two coffee mugs. A $100 donation gets you a Romney for President ornament and a signed copy of Ann Romney’s holiday recipes in addition to the mugs and picture.

But the $250 donation gets you all of those items, plus the official Romney campaign fleece blanket, and a customized voicemail message from the candidate himself. We can only imagine the choices of canned Romney blather that’s available to recipients.

“Hello, I’m Mitt Romney, and I approved this voicemail.”

“Hello, I’m Mitt Romney. Please leave a message after the tone, unless you’ve got a funny accent.”

“Hello, I’m Mitt Romney. Joe Blow can’t come to the phone right now. Oh, wait. Yes he can. What do you mean, ‘another flip-flop?'”

“Hello, I’m Mitt Romney. You’ve reached [rustling of papers] . . . Larry Craig? Larry, I’m not going to be your voicemail message. Turn off the recorder. Turn it off!”

We know the idea was lifted from those annoying fund drives on PBS where the gifts are so ludicrously overpriced because the larger point is to support the cause. But if Borat has the technology to create customized messages for free, certainly the Romney campaign can use this to generate more web traffic and possibly more donations. And we’d relish the opportunity to leave messages for all our friends in the former governor’s voice.