Spanning the Web

Taking you around the internet for your afternoon enjoyment.

That explains the poor jokes: Sen. John Kerry tells the Patriot Ledger that he gave up his beloved sushi after doctors found his mercury levels were “sky-high.” Maybe he should have read Chowder. [Patriot Ledger]

There will be hookers, but no terrorists: Authorities say that there have been no serious, credible threats against the Super Bowl. Even Osama Bin Laden thinks Tom Brady is dreamy. [BostonHerald.com]

So does this lady: A television reporter from Mexico City is so convinced Brady will propose to her she wore a wedding dress, carried a shirt that read “The real Miss Brady,” and brought an engagement ring to Super Bowl media day. Can we just play the game already? [Boston.com]

Odds are all those trains were late anyway: An MBTA employee has been charged with theft after he provided $465 worth of refund tickets to a friend, who then returned them for cash at commuter rail ticket booths. We can trade those things in for cash? This is even better news than the refund check we’re getting from the feds. [WCVB]

And here’s what Bostonista and Chowder have for you.

We’re not materialistic: But a kid’s got to stay safe and happy on a beach vacation.

First Kafka’s Gregor Samsa, now us: We enjoy a Metamorphosis.