John Kerry Will Be Here All Week. Try the Veal

Senator John Kerry is a lot of things. He’s a war hero. He has served his country and Massachusetts well during his decades in Washington. He’s loaded.

The one thing John Kerry is not is funny. But don’t tell him that.

Clearly buoyed by all the attention his endorsement of Sen. Barack Obama for president has brought him, Kerry tried out a series of jokes in a press release about the plans to have a Super Bowl parade on Super Tuesday.

“Yes, this could cause the worst gridlock since back when the Republicans controlled Congress.”

Ugh.

“I just hope this can be worked out, because Senator Obama being elected president is an historic first, while the Patriots Super Bowl victory parade is an annual event.”

That’s not even a joke. Is it?

“On February 5th we can all be like Mitt Romney and have it both ways.”

Not exactly timely, but at least that one got a chuckle.

We’re proud that our senator was smart enough to avoid any botched jokes. Guess all that mercury he was ingesting from his sushi finally worked its way out of his system. But we still think Mitt Romney is funnier.