Police in Maine on Dumpster Turkeys: Don’t Eat Dumpster Turkeys

Please don't eat turkeys out of a dumpster, they said.

Picture 17655Roast Turkey on a Cutting Board -Photographed on Hasselblad H3D2-39mb Camera

Photo via / Laurie Patterson

Please for the love of God do not eat turkeys out of a dumpster. This should be self-evident but it apparently is not.

This much we learned from police in Falmouth, Maine, a presumably lovely community that apparently does not want to let things go waste, even a good dumpster turkey.

In a “turkey warning” that, shockingly, was necessary, the Falmouth Police Department alerted us that someone salvaged a flock of frozen turkeys from a dumpster behind a local Hannaford supermarket, which had been discarded after they thawed in a malfunctioning refrigerator and had thus become dangerous to eat.

“Someone has actually removed these turkeys form the dumpster and thought it would be a great idea to redistribute them,” police wrote in a, frankly, distressing Facebook post on Monday. “It’s not a good idea, it’s a very bad idea.”

Police later said they tracked down the apparent culprit, who posted about his haul on Facebook after he schlepped some 75-80 turkeys into the back of his pickup truck. He has been identified, but has not been charged with a crime, the Boston Globe reports. Now police hope to track down all the bloated, bacterial birds before they become someone’s Thanksgiving feast. According to Falmouth Police Lt. John Kilbride, who spoke to local station WMTW, “If you got a frozen turkey from a guy in a pick-up truck, don’t eat it.”

As the birds have not yet been recovered, police warned their community to be on the lookout for suspicious turkeys. Because, who knows, there may be bacteria-ridden poultry making its way through the Thanksgiving black market as we speak.

“If anyone had acquired a bird from some non conventional manner from someone you don’t know, discard and replace it,” police wrote.

Words to live by in any season, if you ask me.