Our Suggestion for Barack Obama’s Super Bowl Ad

1201713476Everyone has friends who don’t care one way or the other about football, and the only way to keep them happy during the Super Bowl broadcast is the commercials. Since nearly all of America gathers to watch the game, advertisers try to create the most memorable 30-second spot for their money. Generally, beer and soda companies have enough cash to buy a spot, but Sen. Barack Obama bought some local airtime during this election year broadcast.

According to the Boston Business Journal, Obama spent about $250,000 for a 30-second spot on FOX 25. For that much, we hope he’s got something up his sleeve other than the tired ads we’ve been seeing since the New Hampshire primaries.

He can’t just recycle the calmly presented hope and togetherness talk. Super Bowl commercials must appeal to the base human instincts. We feast upon piles of bone-in meat and watch men assault each other, and during the breaks we watch scantily-clad women advertise beer.

What Obama needs is Obama Girl.

Yes, his family doesn’t approve of the sexy YouTube video vixen. But she could be his best friend during a Super Bowl broadcast. All he needs to do is slap his campaign’s URL on a t-shirt, put it on the buxom woman and watch the hits roll in as men around Boston grab their iPhones with their buffalo sauce-sticky fingers to find out more about her.

We’re all about political discourse and decorum, but not on Super Bowl Sunday. On that most hallowed of sports holidays, we just want some T&A with our wings and football.