Boston’s Cheesy Mafia

It’s fascinating to watch our local media handle the case of alleged bumbling mobster Carmen “the Cheeseman” DiNunzio. The Herald has run with the obvious, pssssst he’s fat, angle, pointing out that the 400-pound cheese store owner requested a stronger toilet for his cell. Globe columnist Kevin Cullen used the Cheeseman as a punchline in his column about how much Boston magazine sucks.

But perhaps the most bizarre article written about DiNunzio appears in today’s edition of the broadsheet. It seems the Cheeseman’s business is suffering because a judge barred him from entering the store.

Sure, his alleged attempt to sell an undercover FBI agent subpar dirt for a Big Dig project is bad. Yes, he reportedly threatened to “throw this [expletive] kid off a roof.” But doesn’t making a tasty sub and handing out water to little old Italian grandmas negate all that?

A recent visit, for instance, resulted in a stellar sandwich with cured meats and imported cheeses (topped with dreamy olive oil), but also in a buffalo mozzarella that was sold 12 days past its due and tasted like sour milk.

“On a hot day like today, he’d be sitting outside on one of those benches, giving water to the old ladies,” [DiNunzio’s friend Mike] Rizzo said[.]

Not only does the Globe’s article make us hungry (while we don’t know what “dreamy” olive oil is, it sure sounds good), it also makes us wonder if the storied Boston mafia can possibly fall any farther than it already has.

Twenty years ago, both dailies would have been screaming had the judge let DiNunzio back into his reportedly mafia-friendly store. Now, the Globe is more upset that they were sold a package of rotten mozzarella.