Is Anybody Listening?


Presidential hopeful Barack Obama brought his message of political-changing togetherness to the Common last night. The crowd of almost 10,000 people cheered wildly as the candidate promised to end the partisan bickering that has plagued America for the past seven years. While his supporters seemed to appreciate the message, they didn’t seem to practice what they applauded.

1193237830As Boston Daily waited in the security checkpoint line, we were accosted by representatives of various causes. Obama staffers handed out stickers. Ron Paul’s supporters were well-represented. And, of course, Bob Whetstone was there to remind the godless liberals that they’ll eventually feel the fires of hell.

As locals know, Whetstone isn’t very pushy and generally lets his nightmarish sandwich board do his dirty work. Most of the crowd just walked by without collecting a pamphlet, but a couple of college students were outraged.

“I wish I had a girl here to make out with, just to piss that guy off,” one said loudly as her skateboard-toting friend chuckled.

“Abortion is murder. Same sex marriage is wicked,” Whetstone replied.

Come to hear Obama’s message of hope, stay to start passive-aggressive fights with someone who expresses his difference of opinion. Way to practice what you preach, kids.

After numerous pleas to go to New Hampshire to volunteer with the Obama campaign, the man himself finally walked onstage to thunderous applause. As he started into his remarks, a loud droning voice could be heard from beyond the security fence. The crowd couldn’t understand what was being said, but it was so distracting Obama had to address it.

“What’s that guy yellin’ about? We’re having a party over here!”

1193238361The noise was coming from two men far beyond the Parkman Bandstand, draped in scarves and carrying a Palestinian flag. During lulls in Obama’s oration, they would scream slogans through rolled-up posterboard.

“From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free!”

“Haters!” Shouted a group of women as they walked away.

A stoner tried reasoning with them.

“I bet a lot of the people over there agree with you. But we’re trying to hear what he has to say.”

“Victory to Hezbollah! Victory to Hamas!”

After several attempts to start a conversation with them, the stoner and his friend gave up.

“Way to infringe on people’s civil liberties,” the stoner said over his shoulder.

“. . . Douchebag,” his friend added.

Ladies and gentlemen, modern political discourse at work.